The Rain

My first poem dedicated for my dear Chang Yee.

The Rain

The rain is falling,
splattering on top of the roof of my gloomy room.
It sounds like a genuine green jade tinkling.
The rain water is trickling to the deep bottom of the earth.

I lean up my back against the window;
seeing the rain is falling down.
Bluster east comes suddenly;
it slams the water of the rain.
Drizzling is remaining dribbling.

From the dreary room I see my flowers are still faded.
They still need the rainfall more and more....
The cloudy sky please hear my pleading.
Let the rain keep falling;
let it seeps to the root of my flowers.
Until the falling rain will stop by itself.
And tomorrow morning I can see my flowers are smiling.

Terrible Early Bird

Not my habit to rise early in the morning in Winter except I have an urgent res with my stomach, and I need to deal with it. This morning is a little bit weird, and I can feel a strange sense around me. It was almost 4 am when I've heard crowded outside. Slowly I opened my room's window, and I accentuated my head out to make sure what happened there.

I saw the police was caught a 18-year-old boy. Actually he is my friend's son. Their house is exactly in front of mine, and such this occur is often happening in their family.

After the police leads away the boy, soon Amy (the boy's mother) closed the door, and I saw that she back to sleep. I could tell because I saw the light on the second floor Amy's house no longer on.

Amy is my friend, she came to Taiwan twenty years ago. After her husband died several years ago, Amy couldn't take her children well. Her children such out of control, and like to drink alcohol very much. That's why Amy's family, especially her son like to make a troublemaker. Thereby the situation will be quiet if the police coming and took away that boy.

I felt my eyes tired and then I decided to back to my bed, but I couldn't sleep again. Thereafter I wore my sportswear and then I went out for jogging. I ran for about five minutes when suddenly I was shocked by siren. In early morning an old lady was taken to hospital, she got a heart attack and out of breath as people gathered there told me.

I scurry stepped away from those horrible scenes. I walked slowly on a small path where the way to go hillside. I always jogged on the hillsides when the weather is good enough. Suddenly I chose the other curve when I came up at an intersection. I changed my mind to go to hillsides this morning, and I prefer to walk around along the old road where's the way to catch plantation areas.

Taiwan countrysides abundances with such a good farm. I walked through the street when someone greeted me, ''小姐,早安,'' (Xiao Jie, Zao An/ Good morning, girl). I surprised because I didn't see other people around me. I turned my face backward and I saw a man was walking behind me, and maybe he was walking for some long.

I didn't pay any attention to everything around me. My mind just thinking about some incidents in this early morning. Without smiling I answered him a simple word, ''Zao/morning.'' The man asked me furthermore, ''你一個人? (Ni Yi Ge Ren)/ are you alone?'' A weird sense suddenly arise in my feeling when I heard he asked me like that. ''不, 我的朋友在前面等著我 (Bu, Wo De Peng You Zai Qian Mian Deng Zhe Wo/ My friend was waiting for me up ahead),'' I forced to lie because I won't he knows that I was alone.

I tend to trot and I accelerated my step to get away from him as soon as possible. I exhausted and a little out of breath, then I decided to take a rest. I thought I was far enough with the strange man. I sat on the sidewalk, and my eyes gazing ahead. Vaguely I saw a woman walking toward me. She took a flashlight on her hand and a round basket on the other hand. She walked quickly and I stood up like I wait for her coming even my heart was trembling. I'm scared. I thought that woman just like the strange man I met previously.

The distance between the woman and me increasingly close. I could see much clear from some steps ahead. Fortunately I know her, she is my neighbor called Mrs. Lee. My breath slowly blows as regulars, I feel better. ''An zho a se aje,'' she accosted me friendly. She is Hakka and she spoke Hokkien to me. Beside speak Mandarin Chinese, in Taiwan also speaks Hokkien, Ta Yu and Aboriginal language. An zho means good morning while se aje means miss or girl. She just back from her vegetable gardens in this early bird.

''An zho (morning),''  I replied quickly. ''Kim bu ngit an lang, ngi em kyang lang a ( today is very cold, you don't afraid of the cold?),'' Mrs. Lee tried to broach. ''Mo tong lang, ngae jok an phun a sam (not too cold, I wore thick clothes),'' I mentioned. ''Ngi an sammang a, an zho cut loi tin tong (you're diligent, it's too early to go out for exercise),'' Mrs. Lee said. With my big smile and a little gave her a joke on my purpose I answered, ''Ngae heu zang ngin a, lo ngin ka mo gyun yong, an zho cut loi mo maka syong kon (I am still young, it's different from elderly, it's OK if I go out earlier).'' I saw Mrs. Lee smiled thereafter.

Every Taiwanese always asked me whether I got terrible with the cold weather. As everyone knows that in my own country have no Winter. Some Indonesian will easily catch the cold when the Winter is coming. We live in such warm country, and span of the year we have the same weather. Lots Indonesian who lived in Taiwan got horrible time in Winter, they couldn't settle with a cold. Luckily, I am not.

I had conversation with Mrs. Lee about an hour, and then I knew that her vegetables she planted was stolen. I only could smile and continued my jog, I saw Mrs. Lee followed me to get home. I knew Mrs. Lee was very angry because that accident. She told me that she spent NT 200 to buy vegetable seeds. She was very tired because she must water the plant yet keep them away from the bugs.

I thought the rainy days recently made the vegetable is more expensive than usual. There are a lot of vegetable crops damaged caused by steady rain. On the other hand, some people who didn't have enough income and had some trouble in their life will easily steal something. I wonder, I thought only in Indonesia surrounded with thief and burglars. In Taiwan I found more and more goons even robbers. Yeah....every country had about the same such that citizen.

I reached home almost 7 o'clock. I sat down on a lounge chair, and my mind wandered far away. Sometimes I really need to live away from the crowded and busy place. I missed a lot the birds singing and the rooster crowing in the morning. I felt sadly, the series occurs in this early bird hit me pretty hard. There's nothing I can do for more, I must keep struggling to accept everything happens around me. I need to welcome the next morning in my day.

白娘子蛇 (The Lady White Snake)

The above picture shows the poster on TV series ''White Snake Legend.''

It was been 17 years ago since the first time I saw the movie Chinese love story The White Snake Legend(白蛇傳 : Bai She Chuan). It's very famous  TV shows in my town at that time.

I thought The White Snake Legend is more famous than Chinese Monihi and the funny movie Sun Go Gong or the gigantic Chinese movie The Emperor's Shadow. Lots people thrilled watching that movie even elderly. This is only one of thousands Chinese folk story, as we know that Chinese people pride in their stories and they would tell everyone who come to their country, me included.

Hangzhou is the capital largest city of Zhejiang Province, located in eastern China, at the southern end of the Grand Canal of China. The legend of White Snake was famous in Hangzhou, where it's a shining pearl of Chinese folklore literature. The characters of Lady White, Xu Xian, and Fa Hai that are created  in the serve to express the longing of the masses for liberation of humanity. The ancient traditions and costume handed down in the story enable the legend to loom as one of the relics that contain the richest information of Chinese folk culture.

The Legend of White Snake started in the five periods of Tang Dinasty and basically took shape in South Dong Dinasty and was adapted into variety play and script for story-telling in as late as Yuan Dinasty.

One afternoon, after Lady White and Lady Green rowed a boat touring around the beautiful West Lake, the gloomy sky rained heavily. Their helter-skelter condition was seen by the handsome young man Xu Xian, who gave the umbrella to the White Lady. She was attracted by his gentlemanly quality thus their emotionally moving stormy love story begin.

The scenery of Broken Bridge (Duan Qiao) along West Lake

Lady White Snake and Xu Xian married shortly. Lady White Snake would like to repay an obligation for Xu Xian saved her. She truly loved his average man for his honesty and kind heartedness. After they married, they set up a drug store named Baohe Tang, which nowadays has been the national preserve for stopping human from the disease. However, the path of the life was hardly smooth. On the other hand, Monk Fa Hai kept trying different methods to disclose the real identity of Lady White.

In a May Festival or also known as Dragon Boat Festival, Monk Fa Hai visited the couple. They're all drinking a strong liquor (Bai Jiu), which had been a tradition that Chinese people wanted to expel the spirit of evil during festive times. Monk Fa Hai knew that the serpentine White Lady couldn't drink alcohol, otherwise she would be returning back into her state when she was in heaven.

However, Lady White didn't want her husband a suspicion, she took the Bai Jiu and became a snake again afterwards. Xu Xian shocked to death, and Fa Hai was happy to see this happen, then he left the terrible scene.

For saving her husband, Lady White tried her best to turn to for help all through the earth and heaven. After many sufferings and setbacks, she succeeded in saving her husband. Xu Xian saw Lady White as a snake staying in front of him, wanted to bring back to her human state, and decided to ask Fa Hai for help. Fa Hai was happy to assist him, however, he told a lot of false details about the terror of a white snake. Xu Xian was of course cheated by Monk Fa Hai and therefore abandoned his lover.

Xu Xian didn't ever say goodbye to Lady White, who had devoted her life for him. Her heart was now really broken when she returned to the beautiful West Lake. She realized that it was not the bridge broken but her own heart. In the West Lake, Lady White made up her mind to use the lake water and all inside to attack Fa Hai and rescue her husband.

A great flood hit Fa Hai's residence, but he was strong enough to keep him alive in disaster, and he hid into a giant crab shell. By casting his evil magic, he built a large golden tower and caught Lady White. Fa Hai vowed that Lady White would not release unless the pagoda was collapsed. The pagoda where Lady White imprisons is called Leifeng Pagoda.

                                                    Leifeng Pagoda

As a matter of a fact, the octagonal pagoda was built out of brick and wood. Constructed in 975, by the King Of Wuyue Kingdom, to celebrate the birth of his son. Leifeng Pagoda quickly became one of the most famous buildings in China. 

Xu Xian managed to devote the rest of his lifetime to damage the Leifeng Pagoda until it collapsed. He was very regretted that Lady White had loved him that she was sacrificed her life. Several centuries later, the pagoda was eventually collapsed and the couple reunited in heaven.

Today, boys and girls; husbands and wives enjoying their romances along the lake shore and walking on the Broken Bridge, while the sorrow of the lost love of some people who will roam around the scenic area to remember the passing happy and memorable times.

Life Not Easy

Hi again my friends.....

Here, I  just reached my sweet home. Outside the weather is pretty chilly, I put my hand on a warm ball to keep it away from cool. I honestly a little bit confused about how do I start to tell. I have a bomb to announce, but there's too much stuff just like clogged my throat, and I have no idea how to immerse the blockage. I can't speak anymore, so that I only could put my fingers on my keyboard and I'm trying  to start writing.

December was arrived, and it's meant soon the new year will arrive. I don't know and I will never know, whether I could still write something in the next year? Every day I passed my day, and every single second the age of mine will be increase. Human life is a mystery, when we're born and when we're dead is something cannot be defined. It's something completely mysterious.

It has been almost three weeks since I began to write in this blog. The letters just like my best friend even I called them the best friend in this world. Only those letters who knew what I feel inside, only them understand me as I am. I sincerely and truly thank God for gave me a knowledge, so that I can write and read something while lots people in my own country still didn't can write or read even a simple letter. It's so pity, but it's life. Everyone must face to fate after we have our best attempt to struggle with those fated. Sometimes, someone had a good life while another suffered with pain. This is a real life, just deal with it.

I would like to thank to my beloved Mr. Yee, he never gave up to always teach me everything. His advices and supports lead me to stand up on the ground. My life is complicated before. I didn't even know where is my life heading. I didn't know where's to go, I didn't know where's to stand. No certainly of my existence. Life is too hard for me, and more difficult because it's without knowledge. I'm such a blindness. I couldn't decide what should I do.

Now I try to always face everything happened in my life. Life is so simple but it's really really not easy. Begin when I woke up in the morning, and it will soon end at night when I ready to reach my dream. It sounds so simple, but it's not easy. Just like water flows from the upstream to the estuary, there's ripples and waves always exist. I look at life and it looks as simple, but to fulfill the responsibilities and expectation of everyone is much difficult. It is the difference between simple and easy.

''You are as happy as you make up your mind to be.''  ~Mark Twain~

孟姜女 (Lady Meng Jiang)

This is a Chinese folk love story, China is a romantic country with more than 5000 years of civilizations. Many stories and legends live with Chinese people from generation to generation. The following is a Lady Meng Jiang story, she was a legendary character during the Qin Dinasty who went to the Great Wall in search of her husband, a conscripted laborer of the Wall. She learned that he had died of hunger and exhaustion while building the Wall.

Lady Meng Jiang is also known as Meng Jiang Nu.
In the Qin Dinasty, there was a good-hearted and beautiful girl named Meng Jiang Nu.
One day, when she was doing her housework in her courtyard, suddenly she was discovered a man was hiding under the grape rack. She was very scared and she wanted to shout aloud, but the young man waved his hands and asked for help. ''Don't yell please, and save me. My name is Fan Xiliang. I am here to seek refuge.''

''At that time.....
Qin Shi Huang Emperor was building the Great Wall. He deployed troops to catch civilian young men to help to complete the gigantic project. Many workers were tired or starved to death.''

Meng Jiang Nu agreed to save him. She knew that he was a handsome and well-learnt gentleman. She had the feeling of adoration of him and he loved the girl too. So in love and they asked for their parent's consent, they were to be married.

On the day of weddings, red lanterns and beautiful decorations were in their family. Happy guest crowded in the dining hall. When the darkness came, all the guests returned home. Suddenly the ferocious soldiers entered their house. They didn't say anything, they just arrested Fan in locks.

Fan Xiliang was transferred to the Great Wall construction site to do harsh labor works. Heartbreaking sadness was fully filled the heart of Meng Jiang Nu. She missed her husband very much. She thought that instead of staying at home to waits the news of him, she would like to search him in the construction site.

She tidied up her baggage and set out to the Great Wall. On the road, she weathered many hardships because of dangerous landscape and harsh climate, but she didn't cry and feel pain. The spirit of love had supported her physically and psychologically.

She reached the construction site, but she had still to find him in every small site. For a long time she couldn't find him. At last, she asked a migrant worker,''Is Fan Xiliang here?''
''Yes, he is here and he is a newcomer, but he is dead and his corpse is buried under the foot of the wall,'' the migrant worker answered.

It was like a big thunder in the sky. Meng Jiang didn't see anything, but darkness. She suddenly burst into tears, she cried mournfully for three whole days and nights. The Heaven was moved by her tears. The sky turned dark and the wind grew strong. A part of the Great Wall was collapsed and the body of Fan Xiliang appeared. The tears of Meng Jiang Nu dropped in the distorted face of her beloved husband. Meng had finally seen Fan Xiliang but he didn't see her, because he was killed by Emperor Qin Shi Huang. She then buried her husband and jumped into the sea out of grief.

The Great Wall of China

Mood Swings

It is one of those days I felt lonely and bored. The day is dark at this time, and the heavy rain flushed the city. It is another my rainy days. Gently I rolled my blanket, and I ready to get up. Lazy morning!!!
I woke up and get my coffee after I washed my face and brushed my shiny teeth, he he he
I always took a special care of my teeth, so they look so shiny and I'm pride of it. Well, I won't to talk about my teeth furthermore.

I looked over the window, and I found the heavy rain falls still singing, tik tak tik tak...on top my attic roof. I always felt miserable when the day getting dark yet the rain falls accompanies the dark ambiance. Chinese people said, when a person has a mood swing when the weather turned dark, so that person might affected by 抑鬱症 ( Yi Yu Zheng) = disorder depression. It's just like a melancholy feeling. The person felt so sad and wistful without reason, so do I at this moment. I believe 100% about what they said (I mean Chinese people), if the mood swings caused disorder depression. In the other case, mood swings may be caused from premenstrual syndrome, menopause, pregnancy, stress and depression (it's only for women).

I thought I was losing my mind, I got irritability, mood swings, bored and on top of all that I felt have no energy. I don't know why and what is the reason. Might be mood swings and irritability has an emotional aspect as well.

My Chinese traditional medicine doctor told me that I'm fatigued. I must take enough rest and relax in my daily habit. It's common in Taiwan and other Chinese countries to go to traditional doctors for some kind of diseases. I've done what the doctor said, but I still miserable when day turned dark and rainy. I only know that a mood swing is defined as a mood that changes erratically, often going from one extreme to another. The other doctor (not traditional) I've visited suggested that I might use hormone replacement therapy. He said this is most suitable for me, but I thought I got a mood swing not because I have premenstrual. It caused another reason.

The rain turned more torrential, I'm afraid it would cause flooding again in my town and unfortunately my house is close to the river. By the way,I heard a roving greengrocer come closer and stopped right in front of my house. Soon after most my neighbors go out for shopping vegetables, these recent weather not allowed us to go to market. I took my umbrella and slowly I open the door and gathered with them to shop vegetable and I got my favorite tomato, lettuce and I also bought some eggs. I think I want to cook Egg Drop Soup (蛋花湯= Dan Hua Tang). It will be nice dishes for cold weather.

Well, maybe with cook some of my favorite dishes could swing my mood from bad mood to happy mood. But, I'm not sure. I still felt I would to cry, and yelling. I took my phone and called my friend, I hope she would be willing to hear my grievances. I wait for a few minutes, but nobody answered the phone, oh ghost! I completely lonely.

I pondered and listened to the sound of the rain. The melody is unchanged and aligned. I keep listening and I found myself a little bit better. Now I know, I need to calm down before I shout to at anyone. I don't want this anxiety holding me back, and I look like a person has multiple personalities. I thought meditation is one of those ways I would try soon.

I know that everyone has changes of heart and mood swings; that's actually a normal part of being human. So I didn't worry, not only I am who have such this feeling, but also many women even men could have a mood swing.

After a couple of hours later.
Now is three o'clock at noon, Taiwan time GMT+8. I finished my first meditation, I feel more calm and I can enjoy the melodious sound of the rain falls outside. I'd recommend if some day you get a mood swing, you really to make yourself calm down at first, and then listening to the melodious music or playing musical instruments. May also you could integrate relaxation therapies anything from meditation, yoga and deep breathing exercise. (From my personal experiences)

This is the music I was listening to.

The Girl Burying Flowers

This is a sad story in Chinese classical famous work '' A Dream of Red Mansions.''
A young girl was still weak after her illness. She walked out and strolled about. She came into a woods of pomegranate and found the flowers was falling everywhere on the ground.

She felt so sad for the flower, that caused her to remember of herself. She picked the falling flowers and collected them into a bag and prepared to bury them. When she was picking the flower, she treated the flower as her old friend and she said to them;

''At present you die then I collect and bury your body,
But what time is difficult to predict when I lose my life.
Now I bury the flower so people laugh at my foolish act.
Who do you know would bury me in another year?
Look at the spring now in its remnant and the flower is gradually to fall,
Is it the time that the young girl passes away?
One day as the spring passes completely, I will be old and lost my young appearance.
At that time if you fall again but I die.
Who will bury you again and who will bury me like I did for you?''

English Lyrics; The Girl Burying Flowers

Flawers fade and fall everywhere, who would sympathize with their withered rosiness?
The petals are blown over a pavilion, and the catkins are stuck in the curtain.
All the year round, the frosty cold comes around aggressively.
The enchanting beauty cannot last long and disappears once scattered away.

Flowers bloom in extravagance but fade in silent, and the girl burying the flowers is depressed.
Lonely and in silence she weeps, and the branches are stained with her blood.
Hopefully with wings to flutter, she would follow the flying petals to the end of the heaven.

At the end of the heaven, is there any resting place for the fragrance?
What is still left after the beauty has died?
The clean soil will cover the romance that has gone.
The chaste body remains clean in the earth, never should it fall into the dirt.

At present I collect your dead body and bury it, but it is hard to predict when I lose my life.
Now people laugh at me burying flowers, but who would bury me in a later year in return?

Spring is now in its remnant and the flowers are about to fall, it will be the time that the girl passed away.
Once the spring comes to the end, and she has lost her beauty, who will still care for the falling flowers and the dying girl?